LIFE STORY : CHAPTER 1

Chapter 1

STEPPING BACK OR STEPPING FORWARD
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She has been waiting for this day, for last many days she was trying to meet him but somehow things weren’t in her favour. She was very excited to share her last few month's efforts with him.

His words were still so fresh in her ears, "Samaira, I think if I can get my own online portal I am sure it will help me reach masses but somehow it's not happening for me". He went silent after speaking that, and as always she understood that he wanted her to work on his dream and do something for it.

It wasn't difficult for her to read what he wanted, she knew she can easily do it for him, she also knew he won't accept it as a favour but she had a way. Same day she decided that she will give him a surprise very soon.

This is how two loving hearts understand each other without even speaking a word. When you love someone from the bottom of your heart you can easily read between the lines, you can read the silence, you can read the emotions, you can read the eye movements.

And today she was so excited to share the first cut of his online portal with her love.

"Can you please try to divert some other way, I need to reach fast" she almost screamed at the taxi driver while looking at her watch.

"Sorry madam ji, you know this traffic is bad at times but don't worry I will get you there soon"

Her eyes were still at her watch and she was getting restless. She was too eager to see his reaction when he would have a look at what she has been working for last few months.

Finally while stepping out of the taxi, she gave extra tip and just rushed to their favourite restaurant.

As always, she could see Pramod serving customers.

"Pramod, I hope you have my table reserved"

"Mam, yes I kept the same table reserved and have also asked the chef to get the onion rings ready, should I get them served or as always, will you wait for Sir to join you"

"Well you need not ask, you know it very well, thanks for the onion rings but get them on the table once he is here" she smiled

"Sure mam"

"Is this power socket working Pramod, I would need it for at least next couple of hours"

"Yes it is and don't worry, as always this table is reserved for you both. You are the star couple of our restaurant and you both make a very sweet pair"

She blushed a bit, simply smiled and felt happy, she has heard such compliments from many and all she could do was to thank her destiny which made them meet. She had never expected that she could be so lucky.

"How can I do this again" she murmured while trying to find her makeup kit in the purse. As always, she had left it again at home.

Glass pane across the table worked as a perfect mirror for her. She wanted to look her best and expected him to look only and only at her. It was her possessiveness, well yes at times over possessiveness, but she was happy that in spite of some little clashes here and there, they both were still together. She was happy that he has always loved her the way she was and the best part was that he never wanted her to change in any sense. May be he loved her stupidities and the possessiveness as well.

She again looked outside the glass pane and it was a pleasant monsoon evening, she closed her eyes and in her dreams was holding his hand and walking in the rains.

While looking at the pearl rain drops pouring on the glass pane, she instantly planned late evening celebrations with him in the rain, off course after she was done with her plans of showing the online portal. She knew he will abide by her wishes as he has always done in the past without questioning a bit.

"Hi"

"Oh you are here, I didn't realize, I got so indulged in the rain outside. Isn't it amazing weather today? Hope you didn't get wet, luckily I reached before it started raining. It's still drizzling so good you reached before it gets heavy. You know I have so much to talk to you and I can understand you must have been so busy for last few days. But no worries I will make sure you don't leave today before you hear everything from me and I have something to show you. You better sit and just listen to me"

She flurried her questions and opened her chatter box while laughing and giggling and started opening the online portal.

She was about to turn her laptop towards him.

"Samaira, can't you understand that I have been ignoring you from the last few weeks"

It was shocker of a statement for her as she had never expected this. She had a feeling that she was being ignored but always tried to console herself with one or the other reason. Her fingers got numb and she slowly moved the half turned laptop back towards herself.

She was silent as she could sense more was coming her way.

"I feel suffocated now and many times you simply cross the line with your over possessiveness"

She was quiet and was wondering when in their last 5 years of relationship this "line" came in between. She always had a feeling that their relationship had reached to a stage where they could openly discuss and take mutual decisions. However what she was hearing was a single sided decision.

"You get rattled on whatever I do, seems you don't wish for my happiness, seems you want that I should only stick to you, seems you want that I shouldn't talk to anyone else except you. I feel I am restricted to share my happiness, I feel I am restricted to share my opinions, I feel I am being stopped from reaching out to the masses"

"Hmmm, so what do you want now" she spoke in the softest tone but with a very heavy heart

"Well Samaira, I have told this many times to you in the past but it's clear that you don't want to change. You constantly keep on repeating the same behavior every time"

"Well I don't think I am that bad but still I am eager to know what you have decided now" this probably was her last defense statement

"I think it's high time, we should step back"

"How many steps back" while asking this, she was still waiting for a miracle answer but it was too late.

"Samaira, I have never in the last 5 years made you feel guilty on anything and have never stopped you from living your life. I have always given you lots of freedom and personal space and have never forced myself on you. I have always allowed the breathing space. But you on the contrary, have made me feel guilty many times as if I have done something wrong for our relationship, as if I have neglected you whereas I know that in spite of all the troubles at my end I have done the best I could do. You have always ruled the terms and I have abided by them. I can recount on many instances as old as 4 years back where you have made me feel guilty. Now I feel our relationship is at that stage where we cannot handle this or solve this anymore. So let's take steps back, let's take steps back to reach the stage where we were 5 years back. Let's take steps back so that we can live our lives peacefully at our end. And you are not at all a bad person Samaira, you are a very nice person and I always pray and will always pray for your health, happiness and success"

What an irony of life it was, on one side of the table she was being blamed for acting as a road blocker and an obstacle; On the other side of the table, she was looking at her screen which had the portal to allow a more wider access to his work and dreams.

"Yatin, thanks for the wishes and clearing my confusion on your behavior for last few days. It's more clear to me now. I can feel from what you have spoken that you have gone through lots of pain and sufferings in the last 5 years. Spot on, sufferings should end for you. I strongly think and I am confident that you no longer need my wishes; you are free to chase your dreams, my dear"

As Yatin walked towards the exit, Samaira looked around, nothing had changed around her.

She could still see people having their chats while enjoying their food. She could still see couples around her and it was still drizzling outside. Rain drops were still falling on the glass panes in the same fashion.

But there was something missing and it was something big. She could feel the pain and the huge gap, she no longer had the desire to look at her face in the mirror. She looked at the onion rings and she just started eating them one by one.

While she was still having her first plate, she ordered one more.

She wanted to take out her frustration and anger on the onion rings. She kept on gobbling them without worrying much about the taste.

The charging point was still working and she kept staring at the online portal home screen.

Her mind was blank and in no time she hurriedly packed her things back. Settled the bills and she quietly moved outside.

She stood in silence in the rain and wanted to hide her tears in the middle of the small droplets which were falling directly on her face. She was suggested to step back but her feet weren't moving. She looked back at the restaurant and vowed never to step back again. She knew it won't be easy for her from here but she was her family's pride, she was her father's brave girl. Her mother had lived her own dreams in her, she herself had her own dreams which she never wanted to kill.

The world had always called her a dreamer and it was time to turn those dreams into reality.

To make those dreams come true, rather than stepping back she decided to step forward. It was a heavy day for her but it was an end leading to a fresh beginning. But one thing was very clear that she will definitely miss Yatin.

To be continued.......